Emerging spotted and spent from yet another Paintbrush War, I contemplate the horror of this household task. Some of my friends take it in stride, and seem to effortlessly produce stunning results. But I am still dealing with a high learning curve. So fresh from my latest fiasco, I lay down these simple ground rules for myself, and others like me, that is if I ever decide to tackle a wall again.
- Prepare yourself to hear the words, “How did that get there?” many times over.
- Develop a set of sacrosanct painting garments for this sole purpose. Never wear them in public. They can be used for wiping paint off your hands until the layers become too deep for absorption.
- If the initial color horrifies you, STOP. I don’t care how much you paid for it. It will not improve with drying, and you will never make peace with it. This is way too much work to put into something you cannot enjoy.
- Check the color in the can before starting to paint. I know this does not sound like rocket science, but these things happen. You might be forced to repaint a complete wall, as I was. It’s enough to cause fits.
- Don’t run to answer the phone after stepping in your latest pool of spilled paint.
- Never attempt to paint a surface that you cannot see.
- Edge slowly. Yes, I know it is boring. The longer I take, the better the result.
- When exhaustion and boredom hit, and you find yourself rushing, stop and take a break. There’s always tomorrow, unless company is coming to sleep in that guestroom. In that case don’t start until they have left. They won’t remember your walls anyway.
- If possible, coerce a guilty co-habiter to do the cleanup. Guilt is a great motivator when someone who could help you is finding other things to do.
- Oh, and don’t freak out when you seem to notice a new streak of gray in your hair. It will wash out in a few days.